Thank you just isn't enough!

Today we come to the end of a long road.  And it feels like there is so much to say, to explain, to justify, to understand, to reconcile, and to celebrate. But that is not what is on our hearts. There is really no way to sum up this part of our journey until we first recognize all the people who have helped us get here.  We could not have done this without all of you walking along this very unpredictable, bumpy, and sometimes painful road with us.  And now that we are standing at the end looking back, we can’t help but see all the people standing behind us cheering us on and celebrating our new family.  And although it is easy to see you now, we know there were times that the road was too dark to see you.  But it is clear now that you were there all along!

To our prayers warriors we say thank you from the bottom of our hearts!  You are a part of one of God’s great miracles.  It has been 2 years and 3 months since we started this process.  We estimate that it has taken over 50 people in 2 countries from our home study to our final sign off to complete this adoption.  Several 100 pieces of paper, 1 judge, 4 sets of finger prints, 10 nannies, 1 social worker, 1 case worker, 2 adoption units, 3 drivers, and finally we became a family of 3!  If you don’t consider that a miracle, I am not sure what is.  And every single one of you helped make it possible.  We have always believed in the power of prayer, we have just never been so closely immersed in such a blanket of love and community. We just can’t say it enough, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

"Thank you" in Amharic

To all of our family (blood and not, you know who you are) thank you for your support.  We know you were praying but you were also in the trenches with us.  From the support you showed when we first told you we were adopting to the preparations you are now making for our arrival, we thank God for you everyday!  You never judged us for the emotions we felt through out this process.  You grieved when we grieved you rejoiced when we rejoiced!  You didn’t always understand our emotions but you were there regardless.  You welcomed B into our family before we ever even knew his name.  You helped us prepare our home, our lives, and our hearts for a new addition!  To say that we are blessed is not enough, our cup runs over with immense joy.  We cannot wait to continue living life as a family of 3 because we know that B will be loved by so many!

Lastly we have to give an extra special thanks to Grandma Lisa.   She sacrificed a lot to be with us here in Ethiopia for a month.  The unconditional love and support you showed us can never be repaid!  Your willingness to put up with us was no easy task.  And the love you showed B is beyond what anyone deserves.  Without you and Grandpa Dennis this adoption would have been very difficult for us financially.  Your selflessness and generosity is unmatched by anyone we have ever known.  We can only pray that we will be as good of parents to B, as you are to us!

WE LOVE YOU ALL! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

8 lesson from my 8 month old

As my “cock-a-DUDE-all-doo” awoke me this morning with his squawks of joyful yelling I began to think about what it would look like if we all approached life with a more childlike attitude.  (In the name of full disclosure I will admit my demeanor and contemplativeness was not so happy when my little Dude awoke me at 10, 12 and 2 in the morning!)  So as I lay there for 30 minutes listening to the sound of B yell, talk, coo, and laugh I began compiling in my head all the lessons he has taught me in the last 2 weeks.  And because I found some of them challenging and profound I wanted to share them with you.  (And again in full disclosure, thinking about these wonderful things my son has taught also helps keep my mind off the wait!) 

So here they are:  8 lessons from my 8 month old

8. Don’t be afraid to find your voice.  And use it often once you do.

7. Make farting/ surbert noises with your mouth at inappropriate times.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, it will always be funny!

6. Eat when you are hungry and sleep when you are tired.

5. Laugh often!  Even if you have to fake it for a little while it almost always turns into real laughter.

4. Cry when you are sad or upset.  It is not a sign of weakness but an opportunity to show how much you need others.

3. Don’t be afraid to rely on people who are older and wiser than you.  They can teach you the ropes and help you avoid dangers that you may not understand yet.

2. Take time to play and interact with others.  Life is too short to be busy all the time.

1. Find joy in all circumstances.  Don’t let your surroundings determine your attitude.  If you have your family by your side and God in your heart you can tackle any challenge the world might bring.

Why did we choose to stay?

The day we found out about B, was without a doubt one of the happiest days of ours lives.  And we relished every moment of the day.  But there was one thing we learned that day that just never set well with us, a fact about B’s story that we would never be able to change, and it broke our hearts.  B was abandoned. 

We hadn’t even met our little guy yet, but already we ached for him, for the fact that he would always have a missing piece to his journey.  Of course we knew we would do everything possible to provide B with the best possible home.  And we knew part of that responsibility meant providing as much information for him as possible about his native country.  As to how we would do that we weren’t exactly sure.  The only thing we knew for certain was that providing him information from books and second hand sources didn’t feel adequate.

It was that desire in our hearts that led to very extensive prayer and got us asking the question, what would it take to stay in Ethiopia between the two visits?  We also asked ourselves what benefit would an extended stay be to our family and particularly B?  Well upon first look, the cons for staying quickly outweighed the pros.  Just to name a few, there was our jobs, our house, the money, the lack of contacts in Ethiopia…. the list goes on.  So in the face of such odds we did what we have done through this whole journey, ignored the world and turned to prayer.  We knew that if God wanted us to be in Ethiopia He would make a way.  And if you have been following our journey you know that is exactly what He did.  We have been in Ethiopia for 7 weeks now.  And to be honest the day we got on that plane to leave was a huge leap of faith!  We had one contact and a place to stay for 4 days!  From there it was all in God’s hands, an exciting but very scary feeling!!

Last Saturday I sat in room sharing a meal with over 20 of our friends that we have met in the last 7 weeks and I thought back to that day.  To the leap of faith it took to leave on a one way journey to a place unknown and trust that the Lord was in control!  I also couldn’t help but think of that sinking feeling in had in my stomach when we found out B was abandoned.  But there in that room as Mike, Grandma Lisa, B and I hosted an American meal for our Ethiopian friends, I felt assured, I felt content, and I felt excited!  God had done more than I ever could have imagined.  Not only did he provide countless opportunities for us to serve and get to know the Ethiopian culture, he had provided us with friends and family here in Ethiopia!  As I interviewed our friends and had them share a few things with B on video, my heart was full.  As I watched B move from lap to lap and arms to arms, I knew he was loved.  I knew he had a community here, I knew he would always have aunties and uncles in Ethiopia.  At that party God opened my eyes and revealed to me the most beautiful picture to the question above, “this my dear, is why you chose to stay!”

There are no words to say how blessed we are to have family here in Ethiopia.  Nothing could fully describe the feeling of knowing we have made friends for life.  And although we know B will still be missing pieces of his life puzzle, we feel confident that some of those holes will be filled by the amazing people we have met on this part of his journey.   

The Sounds of Sleep

We have now been here for over 5 weeks. We have lived in 3 different places and moved 4 different times.  Each place has been unique in its own right.  Our first and current guest house is what I would say is rather posh! The second and forth place we stayed in is homey and summer camp like (although still in the heart of Addis). The third place we stayed was comfortable and relaxing (to a certain extent, there was a 4 and 6 year old living in the house).  But the one thing that ties all of these places together is the night time.  Every night as we lay down to sleep with the lights off, we could be anywhere. The only thing that was certain each night is that the bed we lay in is not our own.  And some nights that is very hard. 

At the first place we were lulled to sleep by cows mooing and awaken by the loud speakers at the mosque.  The bed was very hard, but overall the newness of being here and jetlag helped us to sleep fairly well. 

At the second and fourth place we sung ourselves to sleep by singing along to the American music that was blasted every night from the bar adjacent.  And we were awoken by the hustle and bustle of the people outside on one of the busiest streets in Addis.  The bed was much more comfortable but the air always thick with smells and smog. 

At the third place we stayed we would mark the time in the night with the sound of the 11:00pm Ethiopian Air departure to D.C.  And we were awaken by a knock on the door with a four year old saying “Mike, Mandy are you awake?”  The bed was nice but being able to stay with a family was even better.  It felt a little bit more like home. 

At the fifth place we stayed things changed!  We no longer lay in bed at night being lulled by the uncertainty of our time here.  Nor were we kept awake by the aching to have our son with us.  But instead last night we experienced the most amazing sound we have heard since we arrived.  A sound that we felt we would never hear!  Yes, last night around midnight we were awaken by the sound of our son!  He cooed to himself then rolled over and smiled at us.  He is finally with us to stay!  We brought him home yesterday afternoon! 

We don’t know when we will be home!  We don’t know when we will go to court!  We don’t when we will receive B's passport! We don’t know when we will get a full night’s sleep again!  But we do know that none of that matters anymore!  We are complete now, our family is together forever!

Happy Mother's Day

As I stood up this morning in church with all the other mothers I felt tears roar to the surface.  So many emotions going through my head. And just as I thought my pain was caused by the absence of my sonY, I was handed a yellow rose. It was then that I understood with tears in my eyes and my mom favorite flower in my hand, it was my mom that I missed so much!  I stared at that yellow flower all service and thought of what an amazing mom I am blessed to have. And how I wish I could give her a yellow rose on this day. You see I miss my son, no I ache for my son everyday! But that emotion has become normal, recognizable, expected. The emotion I felt today was an aching for my mommy, for all the amazing women in my life that I have been missing while we have been here. It has been a month now since we arrived and on this day I felt sadness and joy together. As I think of how blessed excited and thankful I am for the many many great examples I have in my life of what a great mother looks like. And on this day Mike and I are especially reminded of our mothers. Of two women who would do anything and have already done so much for us. We love you both so much and we can't wait for Baby B to meet you both. And to our Grandmas and sisters and friends thank you also for showing us what motherhood is about. We love each of you, and miss you all so much. And in honor of my mother and mother in law I send each of you a (virtual) yellow rose. And I pray that you feel as honored and blessed as I did this morning.

Reminders

One of the greatest blessings of this journey has been the opportunity to spend time with each other. Any of you who know what our life has been like the last 3 years can understand that quality time together usually consisted of photoshoots and basketball games. Or school dances and wedding shoots. But here we have had the chance to just be.  Something both of us struggle with.  We are trying to enjoy and soak in this time before our lives are turned upside down.  And for the most part we are. But we are also still us, serving every morning and afternoon at two different missions, and now possibly three.  But in each one I see and appreciate even more why i married Mike and why I can't wait to raise a family with him.  I see him playing soccer with the boys in the morning and i know he will do the same with our kids some day.  I see him helping the kids in the afternoon with their homework and i know he will do the same with our kids. I see him " flying" our friends little boy around the church after service and i know he will do the same with our kids. I see him dancing around our room to celebrate our court decree and i know he will do the same for every celebration we have with our kids.  So again i am reminded that god has a plan for this time and many blessing to pour on us. But he also has some reminders for us. And one of the greatest reminders i have gotten on this trip is that there is no greater feeling than knowing your husband's love for his child is second only to his love for you.  And that reminder makes every day in Africa that much sweeter.  To quote one of my favorite movies, " my cup runith over"

11 Days and 10 Highlights

So we have been in Ethiopia for 11 days. And there has been a lot going on to say the least!  We have been trying to keep up with our journal in more detail. But with a lack of internet access after moving guesthouses, we have been unable to keep up with the blog. So instead of trying to put a whole lot of emotions and experinces into a giant blog post we are opting for the condensed top ten list. We know you all just read the highlights anyway :)  10. Meeting a 72 year old man on the street and being ask to coffee with him and his wife and his wife's mother.  He went to the states when Kennedy was president. And has lived through 4 different Ethiopian governments. His english was pretty good so it made for insightful conversation! 9. Walking many many kilometers everyday and getting to know Addis and the streets better ( well Mandy anyway, Mike is still lost half the time) 8. Being reminded of God's faithfulness and provision.  Of course this has happened in many ways. But the most tangible was a few days ago when we went to pay for our coffee and internet access and realized we didn't have enough money with us. We were supposed to be at lunch in 15 min. And our guesthouse was 15 min away. Needless to say, it was not a good situation. So Mike began to walk as fast as he could back to the guesthouse ( a scary thing considering the afore mentioned lack of directional knowledge). He could get no more than 100 ft from the coffee shop and some people we had met just that morning passed him on the street in their car.  We were able to borrow money and get to lunch on time. A small but to us powerful reminder that God is bigger than circumstance!! Addis is 50 kilometers in diameter, and they met at the exact right time. God's good and perfect timing! 7. Meeting 3 other adoptive families from Holt and getting to be there when they met their little ones for the first time. 6. Getting to see Baby B again when on the above trip with the other families :) he once again fell dead asleep right in the middle of eating and stayed that way for at least and hour, even in the midst of all the noise. God, thank you for a good sleeper! 5. Playing with the kids at the drop in center where we volunteer in the mornings. They are all street kids ( meaning they sleep and live on the street, with no family ). Mike has really enjoyed playing soccer/ football with them each morning. And Mandy has enjoyed teaching a few lessons. The kids have so much love to give. But they are also still very hardened by their lifestyle. Please pray for these boys and their future! Some of them are only 9 years old!  Can you imagine your 4th grader fending for himself on the streets? 4. Working with the kids at the after school tutoring program where we go in the evening.  A very different dynamic from the drop in center. We wouldn't say these kids have a lot, but they have a family, which makes a world of difference!  We are mostly helping with basic english. But Mike has quickly become a Math tutor for the older students and Mandy has enjoyed working with an amazing young artist. Ashenofi is quite advanced, he drew a portrait of Mike last night in about 20 mins. It was better than what most can do in 4 hours!  They are all amazing and so fun to be around. And they make sure our Amharic is said correctly. It is questionable as to whether we are learning Amharic from them or if they are learning English from us.  We are pretty sure it is the first! 3. Meeting two young people at our new guesthouse. Josh, a photographer working with a non- profit organization that helps take pictures for NGOs at little to no cost. And Misty, a missionary and counselor. She lives in Zimbabwe most of the year, but is here in Addis for 2 months.  Through our meeting, they invited us to take a day trip to the north with them.  We were able to see the oldest Ethiopian monestary, built in 1960. Doesn't seem too old, but all the other were burned or destroyed.  It is part ofthe Ethiopian orthodox church. It was great to get out of Addis and see a different part ofthe country.  Believe it or not, minus the altitude, it looked much like eastern washington! Oh during our trip our driver was able to stop and work out a deal for Josh to ride someone's horse! It was funny, crazy, and the most money that man had made in one day in a long time! But hey who wouldn't pay 10 bucks to say they rode a horse in the middle of Ethiopia! 2.  Meeting so many amazing people! It would take us 10 blog posts to tell you about all the amazing men and women that we have meet. Each one so kind and generous. From helping us find a place to stay or volunteer, to driving us around the city. Or even inviting us to their wedding! Yes, we are going to an Ethiopian wedding tomorrow! God has just been so good to provide us with connections and he has been faithful to bring us friends! All of which has confirmed that we heard God right when we decided to stay in Ethiopia! 1. We got our court decree!!!!!! Per Ethiopian law Baby B is officially our son!!  There are still many steps left with the US embassy and we won't take custody until those are completed. But another step in the right direction! So again thank you so much for all of your prayers and support! We can not tell you how much it means to us, our family feels so covered in prayer.  And we challenge you to see the signs of God's faithfullness today! And listen hard and intently for his calling. Because as we are finding out, God 's plans hold amazing and unexpected blessings that will change your life forever. Love him and trust in him and you will not be disappointed!

Ethiopian Court - Two Worlds Collide

Today Mandy and I had our court date with the Ethiopian government.  There were so many things told to us by our adoption agency of how to prepare for the meeting but nothing could truly prepare you for what we experienced.  This morning we woke up around 6am and got all dressed up in our one nice outfit.
Over the last couple days of playing with our son it was very tough for me thinking about our court date and what if we didn't pass.  Not passing meant not being with our son for even longer.  The stress was really working overtime in my mind.

We got picked up by our driver and drove to our adoption agency where we met with the lawyer that goes with all the adopting families.  He sat down with us and briefed us on how the meeting would go.  He told us all the potential questions the judge could ask.  He emphasized that there were no wrong answers and the court date is more to have us physically in Ethiopia and answering the most important question, "do you want to adopt your son?"  Even though there are no wrong answers all I could think about at that moment was, "what if I say something stupid or give the first 'wrong' answer?"  Mandy laughed at me when I told her I was thinking this.

After meeting at the adoption agency office we drove to where court was.  We walked up about 4 flights of stairs and into a hot waiting room with about 10 other families that were adopting.  In addition to these families were also Ethiopian families that were relinquishing their child.  This part of the process was heartbreaking as we waited.  You could see the look of excitement and happiness in the faces of those adopting while on the flip side you saw sadness and hearts breaking from the Ethiopian families.  There were two different worlds being thrust into the same room to experience very different emotions.  We quietly waited there for about 30 minutes as families were being called in.  There was no rhyme or reason as to who got called in.  I tried to stay calm but was very nervous (Mandy was fine).  Finally the child care center name where our son is was called which meant it was our turn.  Our lawyer walked into the room and then quickly whisked us in with him.  We handed our passports to the judge's assistant and sat down on the chairs at the back of the room.

The room was a very long room and the judge was almost 20 feet away from us.  She started to ask us many of the questions that we were told back at the adoption agency which we answered with a smile.  After about 4-5 questions the judge told us that this decision is final and is irrevocable if we decide to continue.  If we decide to continue and then back out later that means that our son could never be adopted by another family.  She asked us, "are you willing to accept responsibility for this boy and be his adoptive parents?"  We of course said, "YES!"  She responded, "well he is yours!"  I smiled instantly and wanted to run across the room and high five the judge and dance on her desk.  I'm guessing she wouldn't have liked that.  We left the room politely saying "thank you" in Amharic.

A wave of stress lifted off of my shoulders as we heard her say those words.  He is ours and no one can take that away from us!  Now we are one step closer to bringing our son home! 

Joy and sorrow in the same breath

How does one even begin to write about such a day? How do we put into words the experience of meeting our son for the first time? How do we describe the journey from paperwork to meeting, from calling to reality, from America to Ethiopia? To be honest we are not entirely sure. But we will try to describe it for you the best way we know how. Be warned, although this post is mostly about our beautiful baby boy, it is also about the reality of where we are and of the circumstances that make adoption necessary at all. We can honestly say that never in our lives have we felt sheer joy and sheer heartache in the same breath. We did not know it was possible to have both love overflowing and grief overwhelming. So please bear with us this post may teeter between two very mixed emotions. But considering the circumstance both seem entirely necessary and also unavoidable.

The day we meet our son will forever be one of the most amazing days of our family’s life. It was a moment we have waited for so long. A day, at times, we thought may never arrive. But to be totally honest the preparation it took to be able to leave home for 2 months left us little space to imagine or even speculate what this day would look like. But at some point in the process we probably thought it would be like the beautiful videos we had seen of other families adopting. You know with music playing in the background and two parents sitting poised and ready to meet their child. They come in as they are handed over it all happens in slow motion and tears form in the parents eyes, and the baby laughs as they hold him for the first time, pretty perfect right? Well……. our meeting was not like this, not at all in fact. But it was perfect nonetheless. And in fact much more suited to us than the videos we had seen. It was very laid back, almost nonchalant you could say. As if we had been there many times and it was common knowledge that this was our son.

It went kind of like this…. We showed up at the place (down a very narrow unnamed road) and our adoption “host” (she works for our organization) tapped on the large metal gate. No one came so our driver tapped louder. Someone opened the gate that lead into a small courtyard. We were taken to the nurse’s office, (a small out building near the care center) there we meet the main nurse/care taker for the center. We introduced ourselves, she lead us out of the office and over to the care center. We stepped into a small room, about the size our living room. The far wall had side by side cribs lining it and there were two couches to sit on. And before we could even sit down or for that matter set our stuff down a nanny came in and handed Mike our baby boy. No music, no slow motion and no tears… it was perfect! (We didn’t even have time to take out the video camera) As Mike held him we tried to take it all in, we hugged and kissed him. We talked to him and made funny noises. The nannies stayed, the nurse stayed, there were little ones underfoot and babies crying in the background… it was perfect! We went into the adjacent playroom, also about the sizes of our living room, but every wall had side by side cribs… it was perfect. We put our baby boy down with all the other kids and he lay on his tummy. He also showed off his rolling over skills for us! Babies cried in the background others smiled and watched us, and one little girl crawled all over baby boy, he didn’t seem to mind… it was perfect! After a while we took him back to the couches to sit. One of the nannies came over and tickled him and he let out lots of big laughs and smiles. In fact that is what he did for the whole 2 hours we were there… it was perfect! We took him out into the court yard and some little ones came over to see us. They began giving him kisses and touching his soft hair. Baby boy made a few scrunchy faces but in general was not bothered by the little finger and lips that were so eager to love on him… it was perfect. The older children came out later and began to play football (soccer). We watched for a little bit then went back inside for a softer seat than the concrete step. Baby lay in Mike’s lap and played for a bit, then began to stare into space. As we watched the nannies put all the other kids in bed it become obvious that Baby was tired too. Mandy rocked him for maybe two minutes before he was asleep in her arms, oblivious and undeterred by the chaos of crying around him. We both agreed that maybe it was not a sleep machine he needs but a recording of the care center. After he woke up we feed him an orange colored puree. Which we found out was fish, onions, garlic and a few other vegetables… it was perfect (and a little weirdJ, garlic?!?!) After that Mike held Baby boy and Mandy helped feed one of the other babies. We both said our goodbyes and kissed Baby goodbye. We laid him in the crib and for the first time heard him cry. Those were first tears of the day for all three of us… it was perfect but also very very hard!

In general the only word that really describes the day is surreal. We sat together in our guesthouse and ask what the other one thought. There weren’t many words exchanged, as neither of us knew quite what to say. We were both pleasantly surprised by what a happy baby he was. And shocked at how big and different he looked from the first picture we got. We agreed that at times it felt very natural, like he was “our son” but at other times it felt like we were just holding a baby in the care center. There were moments of sheer love and excitement as well as moments of concern. We loved every moment and yet it was a sort of an out of body experience.

The center it self was pretty small. About twenty babies from infant to 2 years living in three adjoined rooms that combine to about 10’ by 40’ in size. (there was a larger area where the bigger kids stayed as well) Considering the fact there were twenty plus kids living in such a confined space it was clean and well maintained. And the nannies were very good with the babies. A baby did not cry for long or have a runny nose or a stinky diaper for very long. The nannies were very attentive to their needs. They were also very kind and welcoming to us. The outside of the center had a few small courtyards were the kids could play. And there were little ones running around most of the time! It was the little ones at foot that made the second days visit one of a very different kind of emotion.

The second day we went with the doctor to the care center. Once we arrived we were greeted by a new set of nannies. We took Baby boy into the nurse’s offices with our medical doctor (she works for our agency not the care center). She went through all the updated medical information, and as it was before, everything looked good. He was growing and had all his immunizations done. We had no real questions or concerns for her. Although later Mike did want to ask about a spot on his bum, which the doctor confirmed was diaper rash. I guess it was more convincing coming from the doctor than his wife J. Overall, we consider ourselves and Baby very blessed, as he is healthy and very happy! After our medical visit we were able to spend a few more hours with him. The events were much like the day before. Playing, laughing, eating, and a little bit of sleeping. But there was something different about this day. You see today, whoever was not holding Baby could not be found right next to the other as they were the day before. Instead you could find them two sometimes three kids deep. There was bouncing and tickling and games! We of course caught glimpses of Baby if we weren’t holding him but most of our attention was focused on a growing crowd of little ones. They carried around Mandy’s bag and yelled “mama” or “papa”. On the whole Mandy happily lost 5 pens, a small flash light and her sunglasses to the kids. There was lots of tickling and tossing. Each of the kids was coming in and out of the small rooms at various times. There was some fighting over the treasures found in Mandy’s purse and many wanted to see the book we brought for Baby that held pictures of his family. And at one point a little girl told the nanny that Baby boy was hers and that we should leave. But for the most part they were happy and playful! One little guy in particular liked giving Baby kisses and hung around us the majority of the time. It was great to love on the other ones! Some may have been annoyed or desired to focus on “their child” which is understandable I guess, but for both of us it was impossible not to hug and kiss any child that came near. We loved every minute, whether it was holding Baby boy or tickling a three toddler pile up on our lap. It all felt right in the moment. Baby didn’t cry today as we laid him in his crib, which was good. But as we said goodbye we found a very sad and dejected little one, (The one who had been with us most of the day). As he held the small flashlight from Mandy’s purse his head hung low. He knew we were leaving and he wasn’t too happy about it.

Reality is never gentle, and this slap in the face was no different. As we rode away there was still a linger joy about seeing our Baby again, but there was also a very deep sorrow. We may be here to pick up our son, but who is going to take home the little boy with a sad face and nothing but a small flashlight? Who is going to dote over and bring pictures books for the other children there? Who is going to give the rest of these children a home? We know of course that many of the babies will find forever homes through adoption. But what about the older ones? What about the reality that these kids have no one but the nannies that care for them each day. There is no amount of happiness that could cover the sting of that reality. There will never be enough pictures of our happy healthy boy to blot out the memory of the children begging at each street corner. There is nothing we can do to stop ourselves from thinking “what if that was our Baby?” The truth is, adoption is an amazing blessing and life changing experience, but it is also heartbreaking. I am quite sure that every adoptive parent in the world would gladly forgo adoption if it meant that there would no longer be pain or suffering. No longer circumstance that produced unwanted children, or if it could erase poverty and death. Not a one of us would hesitate. But that is not the reality. The reality is that adoption is needed, because every child deserves a chance to be loved and cared for. Every child should be able to have the best possible chance at life. But again that is not a reality. The reality is that there are way more orphans than there are parents willing to adopt them. There will always be poverty; there will always be circumstance unfit for raising a child. So yes, we are happy and over the moon for our little guy. We love him with every fiber of our being!! But for the last 2 years he has been a little boy in our thoughts, then a little guy in pictures, and now he is a little guy living in a care center with lots of other orphaned children. Those kids did not show up in our thoughts or the pictures we were sent. But they were sure there when we meet him. They are there waiting, just like our son waited for us; unaware of the reality of their lives, unfamiliar with the word orphan, unsure of their future. So as you can tell this day was different. This day was why we came in the first place. On this day we felt helpless and hopeful with each breath. We felt anxious and at ease with every movement. We were left not searching for words as we were the day before but instead left praying about how many more children we can and will adopt. Because you see, this reality was not in slow motion with music playing in the background and tears welling in our eyes. This reality was found in the face of a dejected small boy with nothing but a small flashlight.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

There isn't much to say, except that we get to meet our son in just under 3 weeks!!! We got our court date today and found out we get to hold, kiss, hug and marvel at Baby B on April 18th! We can only imagine what that moment will feel like and we are so thankful that we don't have long to wait!

I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 1 Samuel 1:27

We can't thank you enough for your prayers on behalf on Baby B! It has truly made a difference. We are still trying to figure out what is next and wrap our brains around the idea of finally getting to meet our son. But in the meantime we are praying about and strongly pursuing the possibility of staying in Ethiopian for the time between our first and second visit. So if you have any contacts in Ethiopia or know of organizations that could use some volunteers, we would love any and all thoughts/ contacts! And truly, truly, we could not have made it this far without all of you! Thank from the bottom of our hearts for your prayers!

It Takes a Village

The last few weeks have been a whirl wind to say the least! As the arrival of Baby B becomes oh so real, the reality of preparation has set in. We have been in full force work mode trying to "prepare" for our, hopefully soon, departure to Ethiopia. (As a side note we are still waiting to receive our court date, so at this time are still unsure on when we will leave) And with the preparation has come the much appreciated support of our "village." Between help from our parents, baby showers, and home rearranging we have spent the last two weeks in full on baby prep. And even though it is exhausting we have loved every minute of it. We have to give a huge thanks to Grandma Lisa for coming out for the weekend to help us "prepare" a.k.a; make new curtains for the living room, organize all our cupboards, clean baby's closet, make a valance for Baby B's room, plan a baby shower and in her free time make bracelets!! Another huge thanks to Grandma Fiechtner for hosting a baby shower for us at her house. And to Grandpa Fiechtner for helping Mike put the crib together! And to all our friends that joined us at the shower, thank you for your gifts and presence! The best way to show you the craziness that is "baby prep" is through pictures. So you can see below what we have been up to the last 3 weeks. Here you can see in full force how important it is to have such an amazing village surrounding you!

We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Thessalonians 1:2

We have been working for several months to finish B's "family tree." It is only missing the photos of his family on the circles. He has a chalk board, mirror flowers with zipper stems, and a caterpillar to play with when he gets home! His mommy wants to make sure he has plenty of "art time"

Grandparents are great for helping with the finishing touches like cribs and valances!

And daddy is great for "safety checks" like testing out the crib teething rail.

The Grandmas prepped for the baby shower by making special charm bracelets. Each guest at the baby shower got to make a bracelet! And Grandma Lisa asked that they say a prayer for Baby B each time they wore it. Such a fun and heartfelt way to involve our friends in the shower. Loved seeing all the great designs! Loved even more the thought of how covered our little guy is in the prayers of his village!

So blessed by all the gifts from our friends! And loved all the yummie treats the were prepared for us!

Excited to know that Baby B has so many buddies! There were four little one celebrating with us. Plus 5 more on the way! One of the most emotional parts of the day for us was when Bereket said our Baby's name. Something about it being said by such an adorable little one made it feel so real!

Overall it was an amazing day of celebration and we are thankful for all of celebrated in person and for all of our friend in KC that celebrated with us in spirit through their cards! We were so covered in blessings and love by our wonderful, amazing, irreplaceable village!

Praying we will get to tell Baby B this in person very soon!

God's Good and Perfect Timing

We all say it, and let's be honest we all get a little annoyed when it is said to us.  "God's timing is good and perfect"  It is almost always said in the midst of a difficult moment.  And even though we believe the truth of that statement and trust in a faithful God, it is hard to hear.  Hard I think because we know it is so true and being on the unknown end of that timing is uncomfortable.  But how glorious is that threshold when you step from questioning and wondering into celebration and exaltation.  That moment when as Mike said on Friday, "the last 5 minutes erase the last 14 months of waiting."

That is right, the phrase that for the last several months has sent shivers up our spines and made us want to hide, now seems to be the first thing off our lips when we tell about what happened to us last Friday.  God's good and perfect timing finally arrived!! It happened, we have a picture and a name!  Our baby is no longer a thought or a hope, he is a 4 month old healthy little boy!  

I could never put into words what that moment felt like.  In fact I was utterly speechless  as Mike yelled for joy next to me.  We both cried and reveled as I repeated the details to Mike, of which I think we both remembered only his name and that he was healthy.  Thankfully those details were relayed to us later via e-mail.  But to truly tell this story well (and I am storyteller by nature)  I have to back up a bit.

Prior to Friday Mike and I have had our name on the waiting list over 14 months, we have been in the midst of the adoption process for almost 22 months, we have waited longer than almost every other family to date at our organization.  It has been a long road for us, much longer than we expected when we set out.  And it would be a lie to say it was easy, because quite frankly it has been one of the most difficult things we have ever done.  But it would also be a lie to say that we would speed things up given the chance to do it over again.  I know, I know even we are a little shocked to have this realization.  But being on the other side, things are a bit more clear.  The most important reason why we wouldn't change a thing is obvious, OUR son.  God wanted this to be our son and his timing made that possible.  And second only to our Son, one of the best things about this long journey has been the support of our friends and family.  As we made sure to personally contact every person that has prayed, cried, listened, and sympathized with us through this process we realized how incredibly blessed we are.  This blog has taken 5 days to write because it has taken us that long to tell everyone on our support list.  We may not have been able to "know" our child through this journey but we have certainly had a lot of great people stand in the gap for us.  And I know if you are reading this, you are one of those people.  So from the bottom of our hearts, thank you!  So now that you have been refreshed on what got us to Friday, I will give you the details of our "call"/ referral.

I think the easiest thing is to give you a timeline view, with a few notes thrown in about how awesome God is!

Monday evening (I know the referral didn't come until Friday but this is important)

- Mandy wrote in the baby's journal that she felt as if the "call" was going to come this week

Monday-Thursday 

-Each morning and evening Mike and Mandy prayed fervently.  Prayed in a way they had not up to that point.  It was very honest, raw and desperate.  Much like a child begging to their parent.  Which of course is exactly what it was.  

I include this only because I truly believe God heard and understood the desperation and near breaking point in our voices and thoughts and hearts.  And he knew we could not handle much more.  A testament to the fact that God does hear every word we offer up to him!

Friday February 3rd 2012

- Mandy had taken the day off 

Another amazing God moment! If she had not been off work Mike and Mandy wouldn't have been together when the call came.

-7:30   Mike and Mandy left for Tacoma to be there for their close friends Sharon and Andrew as they finalized their adoption with their son Justin.  

Oh yeah God was at work again!  We have been basically journeying side by side with the Meads through this whole process.  They started their domestic adoption only a few months after us and received their referral in November.  Wow God is clever!

-8:00 As we drove down you could see Mount Rainer clear as day!  The sun shined bright all day in fact. It was absolutely gorgeous weather.  Important to note because this is rare for Feb. in Seattle

-10:00   We got to hear the judge say "This child is now yours just as if he were born to you"

God truly knows how to comfort the hearts of those who are in dispair.  Hearing those words and knowing they would be said about our child someday gave us back much of the joy that had been lost along the long journey.

-10:45  We stopped at the craft store to kill time before lunch.  Not really important except that Mandy bought cute stuff to finish the mural in the Baby's room.  Which will probably be the next blog post :)  Sneek preview in the pic!

11:00- 1:00  Lunch with Sharon and Andrew and their friends and family.

Also another testament to God's amazing nature.  It was such a great reminder of the fact that it really does take a village to raise a child.  There were so many people there who had prayed them through their journey.  We couldn't help but think about our "village" as well.

1:15  Mandy insists that she should call Holt (adoption agency).  Mike insists that there is no reason to call because there is nothing to ask or reason for calling.  Mike wins but Mandy is happy because he buys her a cherry limeade on the way home, she loves Sonic.  Ok not that important, but still part of the day. The one thing that is important to note is that this car ride is the only time during the day that Mike and Mandy have been or will be alone!!  God's timing is even perfect down to the hour!

1:50  WE GOT THE CALL!!!!!!!  As previously mentioned Mandy= speechless and Mike= yelling and overjoyed.  As Mike took the phone out of his pocket it quickly turned into a hot potato!  He tossed it at Mandy (he was driving) and yelled "IT'S HOLT!!"  On the other line was Jennifer and after the pleasantries were exchanged she said "I am calling because I have a referral for you."  Alleluia, Alleluia the clouds parted and the sun shined brightly on our car, all traffic parted and our car began to run on joy and tears.  Ok, not really, but that is what it felt like!  Jennifer proceed to share the details with Mandy, which she repeated back to Mike, at least what she remembered/ comprehended.  Mike screamed a lot, which Jennifer got a kick out of.  And Mandy fumbled and bumbled her words out but was mostly speechless, which should tell you the gravity of the shock and excitement because she hasn't been speechless since the womb.  Jennifer said that if we wanted she would send the information to us over email. She clearly knew neither of us heard much passed his name and age.  Mandy told her of course they would love more information and hung up the phone.  Mike looked at Mandy said "the last 5 minutes just erased the last 14 months."  And how right he was.  

1:55- 2:00  We drove home, maybe a little faster than normal.  We talked about something, we are sure of it.  It is just that it is all a big blur.  Here is a sample of what was probably said

Mike:  Ahhhhhh we are going to be parents!!!!

Mandy:  I knew it....  uhhh... I... uhhh... wow

Mike:  WOWEEEE!! 

Mandy:  Uhhhhhhhhh

2:15  We called Mandy's Dad to tell him the amazing news first.  And then began to plot/ plan a trip home so Mandy could tell everyone in person, you'll hear more later. (Thanks daddy!! You're the best!!)

2:17  We called Mike's parents and calmly presented a "plan" for the evening that would get both of them to our house.

2:20   We arrive home and open the email to see our baby boy for the first time.  We will say only this, if you are a parent  you know what this feels like.  If you are not we pray that you get to feel this someday! 

This is the moment we knew God heard the desperation in our prayers, this was his faithful assurance.

2:35  Drive very hurriedly to print many many pictures of the cutest baby in the whole world, no really he is!! Go to 2 different places before we get it right.  Mandy prints way too many pictures, don't judge she was excited  and you never know what might happen to the first 20 you print :)  

2:55  We show up for our already scheduled Doctor's appointment, which we need to have for our updated home study.  Again seeing God's perfect timing.  We had scheduled all of our appointments to get this updated the week before.  These documents have to be completed to proceed with our adoption by the way!  

3:45  Show the doctor the paperwork for our Baby (remember this appointment was set the week before the call ever came).  She tells us she sees nothing out of the ordinary and from the paperwork we have what appears to be a very healthy baby.  If you are still doubting God's timing let me tell you that it would have cost us $500 to have a specialized doctor review our paperwork on top of having to wait serval days for an appointment.  So again God is really good at what he does people!!

4:30  Tell Mike's parents.  Laugh and cry with them as Karen jumps up and down and yells with joy! (wonder where Mike gets it)  It was so great to share the news with them.  And see that they were just as excited as we were!  Maybe even more, Karen yelled pretty loud :)

4:35  Mandy packs and buys a plane ticket home to Kansas City.

4:45 Mike, Mandy, Doug and Karen leave for basketball game in Puyallup.

6:00 We arrive at the game and Mandy desperately tries to act normal.

7:30 The girls pull off an awesome 1 point win

9:10 The boys pull off another epic win and we leave for the airport

10:30 Mike drops Mandy off at the airport

She is a bit distraught by the fact that she cannot celebrate longer with Mike.  But realizes after her weekend home that it will be the last time she is in KC for a long time.  Again God is good to put the things in place even when we don't understand in the moment.

10:50 Mandy sitting in the airport reeling from the day opens her bible and turns directly to "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love ⁵ he predestined us for adoption to sonship^[c] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— ⁶to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. ⁷ In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace ⁸ that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, ⁹ he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, ¹⁰ to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ."  Ephesians 1:5-10

Saturday February 4th - Tuesday February 7th

The days are a barrage of joy and excitement as we slowly call, facetime or tell our family and friends in person about our little boy.  Some of the highlights are:

Surprising Mandy's sister and niece and nephews at their house.  It was an early birthday present. (Amie's birthday was Monday)  Luke greeted Mandy at the door by jumping into her arms and giving her a big hug.  Luke was actually the one to tell his mom by giving her a frame with the Baby's picture in it.  It was so great to tell them in person!!  Sydney carried the frame around saying "Bebee."  It was perfect!

Mike and Mandy were able to video chat with Paul and Summer later that day in San Diego.  It was nice to hear Jillian's voice in the background and know that our baby will be blessed to have cousins to grow up with.

Throughout the day we continued to tell lots of friends and family!

Saturday Mandy and Mike were able to pull off the biggest surprise with Mandy's Mom.  She was arriving home from a rather difficult few days out of town.  But all was erased when she walked in to find a frame that said "I love my Grandma" and a picture of baby inside.  Mike was set up on the iPad and Mandy snuck up behind her.  It was a perfect way to tell her!!

Sunday brought more phone calls and video chats with friends and family!  And Mike was able to take pictures of Justin Mead who we celebrated with on Friday, a nice full circle to our weekend!

Tuesday morning capped off our celebration with the "village" when we told Auntie Carmen and Markie and Uncle Spencer and Dylan about Baby.  These four are sure to teach our son all kinds of craziness but they will also make great babysitters so it is a good trade off!

All in all Mandy hasn't slept in 4 days and Mike has been filling out paperwork left and right, but it has been an amazing weekend that we will never forget!!

Thank you all for sharing this journey with us!  We can't wait to continue walking with you!