Our Christmas list is short this year

There is only one thing on our Christmas list this year.  Not that there is ever much, we are pretty blessed with all we have.  In fact it is often difficult to answer the question of what do you want for both Christmas and our birthdays.  But this year that question was not just a reminder that we need to think of something, but more of a painful burning in our hearts.  Because what is at the top of our list cannot be bought or found or created.  We want nothing more than a phone call saying that there are babies for us. That the precious beings that we have so longed for to complete our family are ready for us to come and meet them.  You see our Christmas list is not very long this year and come to mention it, my birthday at the end of January holds the same list.  A list of but just one thing.  And honestly I don't want anything else because it just feels hollow and wrong without my baby to share it with.  In fact much of this holiday season has felt this way.  A very distinct void seems to follow me into all the places that normally bring me overwhelming joy.  The Christmas season at school, watching the kids get excited, just wasn't the same.  Going home to see my family, something that I think brings me the most joy in the world, still feels void.  Don't get me wrong they are the most amazing kind of distraction.  With a 4 and 1 year old my mind is more often than not occupied!  But it is the silence in between those moments of holiday joy that seem to weigh the heaviest.  Those moments when I realize as much as I love Mike and my family, I just don't feel complete.  My heart aches so much to have my own family.  To hold my own babies as they cry, to hear the laughter of their voices chime in with those of their cousins.  I love my family, (more than any words on this pages could ever describe) but even they cannot fill all the spaces of aching in my heart.  So for now I will be thankful for the spots they can fill, and try my best to enjoy this season that I so look forward to each year.  I will try my best to hold on to the hope that the call could still come in this year of 2011.  I will muster the same strength it took to write our annual Christmas letter(which I have included below , along with our card) and I will look for the good in every situation that this holiday brings.  I will try to put on a happy face and remember that there is still so much to be thankful for this year. And try to make light of an ever growing ache that wells up inside of me just as we tried to do with our funny picture.  Because I think sometimes the laughter is the only thing that keeps us from crying.  And even if it is not a phone call that I get for Christmas I know that the gift will come in due time.

‘Twas 11 months before Christmas, and all through our place

We were moving and arranging and trying to make space

Out went the couches and down came the flags

The room had to be cleared for our new roommate’s bags

Our good friend Beckie would be living with us for awhile

And we would have to figure out a totally new living style

A few months together turned into almost a whole year

And we have had many fun times since she has been here

Beckie has been witness to a side of us not seen before

Like Mike’s goofy dancing and early morning rapport

As well as our crazy banter, laughter and more

She now knows about our weird habits and laundry galore

But all in all the addition to our house has been a blessing

And about how long she will stay, we are all still guessing

It wasn’t just rearranging that kept us busy this year

Many trips and events required our calendar to be clear

In January Mike made his way to the east coast for 3 weeks

The below freezing weather gave him more than rosy cheeks

Lots of walking and wet feet didn’t keep him from a great time

He had sights to see and the support of his partner in crime

He and his best friend Craig toured Jersey, NYC and Philly

Great friends helped round out an awesome trip, albeit it chilly

On buses, on trains! To Boston, Maine, and the National Mall!

In a flash his vacation dashed away! dashed away all!

But not to worry, more trips and fun were ahead

All over the country and back we would tread

In April down to warm sunny L.A. we both flied

Of course we had 21 students who came along for the ride

But we’ll admit they were all pretty great and not at all lame

So proud of the many great things they did in the Lord’s name

In June, Mike continued the good works up in the north

He helped rebuild a kitchen and alas a new floor came forth

To close out the school year Mandy was honored by an award

To be chosen by her students left her blessed and floored

We were off to travel again after another good school year

In San Diego we found family, friends and much cheer

And in Florida more family fun and delight was created

What an unexpected year of travel, none of which was slated

And in the midst of all the traveling Mike was busy training

For the marathon he completed where it never stopped raining

Unfortunately we have not been able to take the best trip just yet

We are still hoping for the call and trying not to fret

But it has been a tough year of much pain and waiting

We so wish it was memories with our child we were creating

We will continue to trust and to passionately pray

That the call about our child will come any day

It is so hard to understand why it is taking so long

Waking up each day without a child to hold just feels wrong

So we hold him close to our heart until he can be in our arms

And woo us daily with his beautiful baby charms

We know the time is coming when we will have our child

And you can be sure our announcement will be big and wild

So just as we have in each past year

We pray that you hold this message most dear

In this season of peace, love & joy,

When songs are sung of holly, mistletoe, & the drummer boy,

The Fiechtner’s do pray that above all,

You remember a man & a woman who answered God’s call,

A small baby they did bore,

That would die to settle our score,

In this wonderful season may the Lord be your light,

“Happy Christmas to all, & to all a good-night!”

A 1,000lb boulder

Today is a tough day for us. A day we never expected to come. A day we have been dreading for quite some time now. In reality this day is not all that different from the many days of waiting that have come before, but emotionally it feels like a 1,000 lb boulder in comparison to the pebbles and rocks we have experienced thus far.

It has been exactly one year since our dossier was accepted. One year since the day we officially went on the list of waiting parents. It has been 365 days since we began to consider that our referral could come “at any time”. It has been a pain staking 12 months of hoping and praying and wishing. And somehow today at this “milestone” that we never expected to reach, all we can do is cry. We are struggling to find the strength to hope, pray or wish. We wanted the next milestone to be our referral, not the painful reality of more time. Our minds know what lies ahead, resubmitting paperwork, restarting our home study, and paying more money that we didn’t budget for. We know all those logistics are out there for us to begin again, we know we must make a choice about what to do, we know they must happen soon to be able to continue this process. Yet the only thing our brains and hearts can do is cry. Cry because our babies are out there without us. Cry because they have to wait in conditions that they don’t deserve. Cry because another day will go by when we can’t shower them with hugs and kisses. Cry because today is not the end, a big milestone to overcome, but not the end of our waiting.

So we don’t ask for comforting words today. And please don’t remind us of God’s good and perfect timing or tell us it will all make sense in the end. Please just step in on our behalf. Please continue to pray and hope and wish for us, for our child. Because today all we can do is cry.

/~8 AND /~9

I am quite sure you are wondering about the title of this blog. But before I tell you the back story, let me first say, as frustrating as this wait has been, there have been some really great moments in the midst of pre-baby time. And the title of this blog is a result of one such moment.

Around the end of the 2010 school year, Mike and I decided it was time to tell my students about our adoption. We were very early in the process, but at that point still expecting things to move pretty quickly. So we thought it was ok to start talking about. By the end of that school year most of the kids knew we were adopting.

As I returned back the following August, the adoption became a pretty common topic with my students. Some had questions about why we decided to adopt. Many of them asked about how long it would take or how much it cost to adopt. Some wanted to know why we choose Africa. On the whole I was thankful and honored by their genuine interest in this part of Mike and I’s life. And the more the questions rolled in, the more I began to notice one common question, “what’s his name?” I would explain that he would already have a name and that most likely we would keep that name. But since we don’t know exactly who our child will be yet I can’t tell you his name. Well, for some this was sufficient and they conceded to just asking about “our baby.” But for several others this was not going to work, “our baby” needed a name.

So in the midst of this “need” for our baby to have a name, he began to be called many things. Some called him Rafiki because it sounded African, but also similar to my nick name, Feeky. A few of my basketball girls named him Tyrone or Jerome (don’t remember which) because they said it sounded like a black person’s name. And still others chose Baby Fluffs (after another of my nick names) Baby Feeky, African Baby, Baby Fiechtner, all which I was ok with because they were said with great love and excitement for our babe. But of all these names there is only one that has stuck around through this whole process, which brings me back to the title of this blog.

The “name” you see in the title was created by my yearbook class last year, namely my editor Spencer. It was the result of a conversation we had about a girl whose name contained a – (dash). So in keeping with the use of symbols, the students thought it would be “awesome” if our child had a name that contained only symbols. They proceeded to use most of a class period coming up with possibilities and thus was the birth of /~8 (Pronounced: Slashquigglyeight). This name has stuck, of all the names; this name is used most often. This name has actually grown on me quite a bit. I think because it has a sense of permanence without being too “real”.

So that explains the first “name” in the title, the second name /~9 is actually from a dream I had. One of Mike and I’s desires is that we could adopt twins. And one night I had a dream that we got the call and we were placed with twin baby boys named /~8 and /~9. It was a silly dream and a silly name. But the desire is still very real for us. From the beginning we have prayed that the lord would give us twins or siblings. We of course will love any referral. And we feel blessed to be able to have children; regardless of whether we adopt two at one time or at different times. I think the longer we have to wait and the more we realize the real extent of the process, the more our desire to bring home two babies becomes.

But if in the end God has one child ready for us to adopt we will be excited and thankful. It just means the next batch of students will have a chance to throw out more weird, odd, and downright silly names for our second adopted child.

Makes /~8 sound like a pretty good option :)

A Hungry Child Can't Wait: Ask 5 for 5

Guest Blogger: Sarah Lenssen from #Ask5for5

Family photos by Mike Fiechtner Photography

Thank you Adopted in Christ and nearly 150 other bloggers from around the world for allowing me to share a story with you today, during Social Media Week.

A hungry child in East Africa can't wait. Her hunger consumes her while we decide if we'll respond and save her life. In Somalia, children are stumbling along for days, even weeks, on dangerous roads and with empty stomachs in search of food and water. Their crops failed for the third year in a row. All their animals died. They lost everything. Thousands are dying along the road before they find help in refugee camps.

At my house, when my three children are hungry, they wait minutes for food, maybe an hour if dinner is approaching. Children affected by the food crisis in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia aren't so lucky. Did you know that the worst drought in 60 years is ravaging whole countries right now, as you read this? Famine, a term not used lightly, has been declared in Somalia. This is the world's first famine in 20 years.12.4 million people are in need of emergency assistance and over 29,000 children have died in the last three months alone. A child is dying every 5 minutes. It it estimated that 750,000 people could die before this famine is over. Take a moment and let that settle in.

The media plays a major role in disasters. They have the power to draw the attention of society to respond--or not. Unfortunately, this horrific disaster has become merely a footnote in most national media outlets. News of the U.S. national debt squabble and the latest celebrity's baby bump dominate headlines. That is why I am thrilled that nearly 150 bloggers from all over the world are joining together today to use the power of social media to make their own headlines; to share the urgent need of the almost forgotten with their blog readers. Humans have the capacity to care deeply for those who are suffering, but in a situation like this when the numbers are too huge to grasp and the people so far away, we often feel like the little we can do will be a drop in the ocean, and don't do anything at all.

When news of the famine first hit the news in late July, I selfishly avoided it. I didn't want to read about it or hear about it because I knew I would feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I wanted to protect myself. I knew I would need to do something if I knew what was really happening. You see, this food crisis is personal. I have a 4-year-old son and a 1 yr-old daughter who were adopted from Ethiopia and born in regions now affected by the drought. If my children still lived in their home villages, they would be two of the 12.4 million. My children: extremely hungry and malnourished? Gulp. I think any one of us would do anything we could for our hungry child. But would you do something for another mother's hungry child?

My friend and World Vision staffer, Jon Warren, was recently in Dadaab Refugee Camp in Kenya--the largest refugee camp in the world with over 400,000 people. He told me the story of Isnino Siyat, 22, a mother who walked for 10 days and nights with her husband, 1 yr-old-baby, Suleiman, and 4 yr.-old son Adan Hussein, fleeing the drought in Somalia. When she arrived at Dadaab, she built the family a shelter with borrowed materials while carrying her baby on her back. Even her dress is borrowed. As she sat in the shelter on her second night in camp she told Jon, "I left because of hunger. It is a very horrible drought which finished both our livestock and our farm." The family lost their 5 cows and 10 goats one by one over 3 months, as grazing lands dried up. "We don't have enough food now...our food is finished. I am really worried about the future of my children and myself if the situation continues."

Will you help a child like Baby Suleiman? Ask5for5 is a dream built upon the belief that you will.

That something I knew I would need to do became a campaign called #Ask5for5 to raise awareness and funds for famine and drought victims. The concept is simple, give $5 and ask five of your friends to give $5, and then they each ask five of their friends to give $5 and so on--in nine generations of 5x5x5...we could raise $2.4 Million! In one month, over 750 people have donated over $25,000! I set up a fundraiser at See Your Impact and 100% of the funds will go to World Vision, an organization that has been fighting hunger in the Horn of Africa for decades and will continue long after this famine has ended. Donations can multiply up to 5 times in impact by government grants to
help provide emergency food, clean water, agricultural support,
healthcare, and other vital assistance to children and families suffering in the Horn.

I need you to help me save lives. It's so so simple; here's what you need to do:

1. Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)


2. Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.


3. Share #Ask5for5 on Facebook and Twitter!

I'm looking for another 100 bloggers to share this post on their blogs throughout Social Media Week. Email me at ask5for5@gmail.com if you're interested in participating this week.

A hungry child doesn't wait. She doesn't wait for us to finish the other things on our to-do list, or get to it next month when we might have a little more money to give. She doesn't wait for us to decide if she's important enough to deserve a response. She will only wait as long as her weakened little body will hold on...please respond now and help save her life. Ask 5 for 5.

Thank you on behalf of all of those who will be helped--you are saving lives and changing history.

p.s. Please don't move on to the next website before you donate and email your friends right now. It only takes 5 minutes and just $5, and if you're life is busy like mine, you probably won't get back to it later. Let's not be a generation that ignores hundreds of thousands of starving people, instead let's leave a legacy of compassion. You have the opportunity to save a life today!

The Elephant

The elephant in the room… you know that thing everyone knows about but doesn’t talk about. In our case that elephant is the absence of our baby. Maybe others don’t feel that way when they are around us… but I always do. Every time I hear the question coming, I think, “Just let’s ignore the elephant in the room, please.” But they don’t, they reveal it as soon as they ask, “how’s the adoption going,” or “you guys are adopting right?” And it is not that I don’t appreciate people wanting to know how we are doing, because really I am thankful for them. It is just that every time that question comes up and the elephant in the roomis revealed, it turns around and steps right on my heart. It crushes my lungs and I struggle to find the words I need. As my heart breaks, I wonder how many more times I can say, “well it’s ok… we are just waiting.” I wonder when I will reach my breaking point? When will that elephant get the best of me? I am pretty sure that day is not far away. I barely make it through the simplest of conversations about our adoption these days. And as thankful as I am for all the love and support we received through the sales of our adoption t-shirts, every time I see a friend or family wearing theirs, the elephant gets bigger. The pain grows deeper as if that 5 tons beast is moving its foot further and further into my heart. I know deep down it is not the question that is the problem; it is not the t-shirt that gets me. It is what those things remind me of… it is the fact that I don’t have my baby. And every time I see a child this rush of mixed emotions goes through my heart. I simultaneously want to run to them and run away from them. I want to run to them because I know they will affirm to me why I so long for my baby and how much I love to be around children. And I want to run away fromthem for fear that they will make that elephant in the room even bigger and more unbearable. Fear that their presence will only reinforce the absence of my baby.

A piece by Banksy obviously addressing "the elephant in the room."

A couple of weekends ago I realized how much this “elephant” was affecting me. I spent most of the weekend playing with the many kids at our church retreat. I ran around with them and did crafts and in general had a great time. They were a wonderful distraction from my own desires… until they were gone. As I sat by the campfire, after most of the kids had gone to bed, I felt so incredibly alone. Fifty people surrounded me yet it felt like it was just me and the elephant. It was then that I realized how close I was to my breaking point. It took no more than two lines of Winnie the Pooh (read for all the children still awake as bed time story of sorts) before I broke. My lungs collapsed and my heart shattered under the weight. There were no more children to distract me from my pain. As I walked away from the campfire tears streaming and gasping for air, I sobbed under the night sky and I realized…. no distraction in the world is big enough to make me forget about the elephant in the room.

Fishing Boat Guide

You might be wondering about the title of this blog post considering it has seemingly little to do with adoption or Ethiopia. But I chose it because it reminds me of a story about my grandparents that I have been thinking about lately as my plans for our adoption and God’s plans have been at odds with each other.

The story is simple. After 30 years of working in a steel mill and raising 3 children my grandparents planned to move to table rock lake (about a 4 hour drive from their home in Kansas City). There my grandfather planned to be a fishing boat guide and live out his retirement in relative ease and relaxation. (I never asked my grandma what she was going to do, but I can assume it would involve solitaire and puzzles) But it turns out, my grandparent’s plans and God’s plans didn’t align, a feeling Mike and I are all too familiar with these days. You see God didn’t need another fishing boat guide he needed missionaries. So with a single phone call from an old friend, my grandparent’s retirement turned from relative ease and relaxation to over 15 years of ministry all along the east coast (about a 4 day drive from their home in Kansas City).

What you might ask does this have to do with your adoption? Well, it is my reminder that no matter how far God’s plan and timing may be from our own; his are always better. The ripple of my grandparent’s ministry was vast, I can only imagine all that would have miss out if they had chosen the ripple of a physical lure over the spiritual ripple of following God’s will. And I know I will look back someday just as I now can at their story and see why this adoption has happened the way it has. I will understand God’s timing and see his will at work. I will count the ripples of our choices just as I do my grandparents.

But for now all I can do is remind myself of all the examples in Mike and I’s life when God’s plan was far greater than we dreamed or imagined. I can’t help but laugh as I look back at our plans vs. God’s reality. The fact that I thought I would be an architect, now I wake up everyday overjoyed to teach art. The reality that Mike was sure he was meant to be an accountant but God clearly gave him amazing talents as a photographer. The irony that I thought I would live in Kansas City my whole life. The laughable plan that Mike and I had to have kids within a year of being married. I mean my gosh our life is what God points to when he is trying to prove to his children how futile it is to make your own plans! So to these examples I will continue cling as I try to reason with God to hurry this adoption up and get on my schedule. To the would-be fishing boat guide my mind will fixate. And I will continue to tell myself over and over that God has never forsaken me and no matter how much I ache for my baby to be here right now, his will is being done. His plan is being fulfilled, not my own, and in the end I will be so thankful for that.

...your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Matthew 6:10

Willing the call to come sooner

If only there was something we could do.

Maybe finishing this will make the call come sooner.

You know we probably need to fix that before we will get the call.

I bet if we just do this we will get the call

These and many more are the absurd things that have been going through our heads lately. Pretty much the equivalent of a small child saying “Mommy I am sure that if I stand on my head for at least 5 minutes Santa will come in July instead of December.” Or maybe it is like the crazy show we watched about OCD, where a woman was convinced that if she did not park her car correctly her mom might die sooner. It all sounds certifiably insane, right? But we can tell you, we understand those people a lot better in the past few weeks. We relate to them as we say things like; “maybe when we finish the closet build out we will get the call.” Or when we do things like stay up until 3 in morning hand quilting a blanket because it needs to be done or we won’t get the call. We do this because in our mind it surely cannot be all the changes in the Ethiopian government or just bad timing that is holding up that call. Because we can’t control those things, we can't make them any different, so they must not be the reason we haven’t got the call.

Clearly we can all see the reason the call has not come is because we have forgotten to do something. I mean it is all clear to you right? No you say, that is crazy; it is just that God’s timing is different from ours. Oh, there was no way you could anticipate the orphanage shut downs. You know African nations have notoriously dysfunctional systems. You tell us, can’t you see there is nothing more you can do? Had you told us this in say, January, we would have wholeheartedly agreed with you. But now we are almost 16 months into this process and our level of desire and desperation have increased exponentially.

This watercolor that Mandy painted hangs

in what will be the baby's room.

It is both a joy and a pain to see each day as we

remember the baby we are waiting for

and the great sacrifice his mother

will make for us.

So let’s just get it out there, the reason we are going crazy with these thoughts, is plain and simple. We never planned to wait this long. If things had progressed the way they were when we started, we would have the baby home by now! So there it is, we are freaking out with crazy ideas because our minds were not prepared for this kind of wait. We hit our wall, we have done everything that can be done for our agency, we have made t-shirts, we have started a blog, we have made a blanket and a closet, we have planned out his curtains, we have taken our adoption classes, we have written in our “journey” journal, we have researched cribs, for goodness sake we cleaned our blinds, baseboards, windows and, carpets, and we have prayed everyday for 16 months! What else can we do to make that call come sooner?

Well, we all know the answer to that… NOTHING! There is nothing we can do or say, no person we can call, no question we haven’t asked and re-asked. There is nothing we can do but wait. And to be quite honest, that waiting is killing us both. For the first and probably only time in our life we dread the weekends, because there is no chance of a call. We both cling to the very limited and nondescript e-mails that go out every so often. We check our yahoo group to see if anyone else has news we missed. But mostly, as said before, we try to distract ourselves with anything and everything.

But we are sick of distractions! We don’t want to read another book, or watch another movie, or follow another blog, or plan more things for his room. We want a name, we want a picture, we want an age, we want a travel date, we want a hug, we want a snuggle, we want a smile, we want a kiss, we want our baby to be the only distraction in our life!

Waiting

When Mandy and I started the adoption process I knew that there would be plenty of time to wait but I had no idea what that feeling would be like.  Imagine you're a kid in school again and you can't wait for summer break!  You can't wait for the sun, no homework and time to hang out with friends.  Now change that a bit......you know summer break is coming but you have no idea when.  Each day you go to school hoping the teachers will tell you it's the last day of school.  It might be June 5th but it might be August 15th.....you don't know.  You're waiting for one of the best days of the year but don't know when that will be.  That is what it feels like waiting for our referral.

We are waiting for that phone call from Holt.  The phone call that will forever change our lives. It's an excruciating time for us.  During the wait for our referral we've been praying for patience but as the wait has been strung out even longer we have resorted to flat out praying for us to get our referral.  Most people look forward to the weekend....I look forward to the week because I know Holt can't call us on the weekend with good news.

I look forward to the day that I can look at pictures of my child, say his(her) name, pray specifically for him and daydream about the day we bring him home.  Will there be more waiting in this process....yes.  Will it be hard....yes.  But at least I will have a name and picture of my baby.  Those are the things that will help us get through the long periods of waiting.  I pray that we would get that referral soon!

Why did you decide to adopt?

As Mike and I have journeyed through the last 14 months of the adoption process there have been many questions asked of us and by us. They range from silly and inquisitive, to ignorant and inappropriate. Like when one of my students asked “are you going to tell your son he is adopted?” To which I responded with a chuckle,” I think he will know.” And after a long pause that student came back with, “oh yeah he is black and you are white.” This kind of question makes me laugh and remember that adoption is still a bit of an unknown to many people. And this lack of knowledge about adoption is what I try to remind myself of when people ask the not so funny questions, like “how much does your baby cost,” or “have you ever tried to have your own children?” To which I want to say, “That is none of your business” but instead try to answer politely and with some level of information that will educate them about adoption. So my answers are usually, “our baby is priceless, the paperwork and travel however can be expensive.” And to the question of our “own” children I simply respond, “We have not tried to have biological children, but if we do they will be no more or less our ‘own’ then our adopted children.” I in no way think people mean to be hurtful, because the majority of the time the questions are asked with sincere concern and the desire to know more about our journey. I simply wanted to share what we have experienced so far.

Of the many questions we have been asked about our adoption is always one that both excites me and scares me, “Why did you decide to adopt?” Wow, what a loaded question and one that requires considerable time and thought to answer! To be honest even after years of considering and over a year of being immersed in the process of adoption I still hesitate when I answer that question. Not because I don’t know the answer in my heart but because I don’t always know how to put it into words. And I am not sure if this blog post will do it justice either, but for my own sake and the sake of those who are walking along this journey with us I thought I would try. (I want to mention that, although I am writing from my own perspective, I know Mike shares much of the same sentiment).

One of the things I want to dispel before I tell you why we decided to adopt is that we are nothing special. Please do not mistake us for an altruistic couple who should be praised for their willingness to adopt a child from Africa. Although we clearly recognize that our child will have much more advantage with us then he might if he is not adopted, our motives are no different than any parent. We want a family just like our pregnant friends and our friends who choose adoption because they were unable to conceive. All who are part of the parenthood fraternity, no matter how we get there, choose to love our children with all of our being. The act of parenthood in and of itself is the most selfless thing a person can do, and an adoptive parent is no more or less selfless than all parents. And I am so thankful that the desire to have a family is not discriminatory, because it is comforting to know we are all headed towards the same goal, we just take different paths to get there.

So now that I have all that out there, “why did we decide to adopt?” I hate to build this all up, just to give a simple answer, but it is the only true and honest answer Mike and I can stand firm on without wavering.

So here it is… we decided to adopt… because, well, God called us to.

Sorry I don’t have glitzy answers or amazing promises of how great we are and how privileged our child will be to have us as parents, because quite honestly none of that holds up under the weight of inquisition and because we can make no such promise. Like everyone in the body of Christ we are simply living out each day hoping that for at least a few moments our eyes will be locked on the Lord and we will see clearly his path for us. At several points over the last 5 years of being married, both Mike and I have felt nudged by God that we should adopt. We can’t pinpoint exact moments, because the stirrings and presence of the Holy Spirit can rarely be narrowed down. So when the time came that we were ready to add another member to our family there was little doubt for either of us about what we needed to do next. That was last April, the beginning of our parenthood and adoption journey.

Some of you might also be wondering why we chose Ethiopia? Not surprising that answer is just as simple, God gave us a heart for Africa. When we spent 4 weeks at an orphanage in southern Kenya during the fall of 2007 the desire in our hearts to adopt grew very strong. How could they not, watching young girls and boys forced to raise themselves is one of the most difficult things we have ever done. I felt both comfort and absolute anguish simultaneously. Comfort as I watched the older children care for the young ones, and anguish in the same breath as I saw that they were robbed of their childhood, denied a chance to be loved by a parent, deprived of some most basic needs, and stripped of a carefree adolescents. It was during that time that Mike and I knew, although we can’t save all children from this fate we can save some. And so our desire to adopt and our heart for Africa collided over the beautiful nation of Ethiopia!

Many years later our journey continues, not without pain and frustration, but nonetheless clothed in joy! As we continue to seek what God calls all of us to in James 1:27, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world,” we are so thankful for all the support we have received from our family and brothers and sisters in Christ. One of the most profound things that has come from this question of “why” is our realization that we are not so different from any other parent. Wouldn’t we all spend whatever material possession it took to bring a healthy child into our home? Wouldn’t we all fly around the world and back to bring home our baby if that’s what it took? Don’t we all as believers seek to live out God’s will for our life? We chose to adopt because that is God’s will for our lives and for our children’s lives.

Would you like to buy a T-shirt and help spread the news about adoption?

As many of you know, and this blog would suggest, we are in the midst of starting a new journey in our lives, parenthood! And as we move through our adoption journey we continue to experience the ups and downs of starting a family. All who have started a family know how we feel at this stage in our journey: scared, excited, overwhelmed, and full of joy and anticipation. We all know there is little you can do to “prepare” for being a parent, but there are small things that we hope might help ease us into this new adventure.

As a part of the preparation for bringing home our little one from Ethiopia we have experienced a lot of discussions about our decision to adopt. Through these discussions, one of the most poignant discoveries is that even though the adoption process is new and unknown to us, it is nothing new. The God of the universe has been adopting his sons and daughters into his heavenly kingdom long before we made our choice. Our discovery of this great blessing has helped us to better understand why God called us to adopt. It has also helped us explain to others that we are all adopted in Christ. This profound truth and assurance from God is how we came up with the design for the t-shirt you see above. (All shirts are heather gray with black letters, the verse at the bottom says John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you.")

As a way of continuing our preparation as well as getting out awareness about adoption we decided to sell these t-shirts. Our desire is to raise money to cover some of the cost of adoption, but most importantly our hope is that when people wear these shirts, the topic of adoption will be brought up. We pray that you can share about our journey so that others might consider adoption as a way of starting their own family. But most importantly we pray that you might have the chance to talk about Christ and the most life changing adoption we all have available.

We are asking for a donation for the shirts, but please know that our ultimate desire is to get the word out about adoption, both earthly and heavenly. If you are interested please fill out and return the form included regardless of how much you can give. We will hand deliver or ship you a shirt.

We are so thankful for all the love and support we have experienced along this journey. We know our child will be blessed because he has all of you as family and friends! We can’t thank you enough for your support, love, and prayers as we embark on parenthood. Thank you from the bottom or our heart.

If you would like a shirt and did not receive a letter in the mail please e-mail us at mandyfiechtner@gmail.com and we will make sure to get you one! Order deadline is June 30th.